At some point in your early life you may have taken ownership of a lie about you. I’m not saying that we are all victims.  Lies come in pretty religiously obedient packages as well as the ugly ones that carry intentional pain. You did not actually exchange the truth for a lie (Rm1:25). You were just offered one through repeated words, attitudes, or actions, and you absorbed into your view of yourself. This has shaped your perspective and has a great deal to do with your interpretation of your present experiences. You know better now. If I ask what gives you value you will give me a correct response about being an image bearer of God who is covered by his grace. We give answers like that when we are being conscious about it.  It is when we are on autopilot that the lies go unchallenged.  We must learn to make it conscious, to take the lies captive, if we are enjoy being God’s workmanship (Eph 2:10).

We must consistently challenge the lies we have learned.  We were told these by flesh and blood people with audible words and some with harsh actions that have made a lasting impression. Those words seem to have made more of an impression than the truth we have since come to know.  Perhaps it would be easier for the truth to sink in if Jesus spoke audibly about it, or was physically present to exchange his truth for the lies that persist. Certainly there is already comfort and peace, and a sense of his presence in needy times. It can however be fleeting. I’m suggesting a conversation to settle the question, an emotional punctuation point.

I invite you to imagine just such a conversation, in which Jesus counters the lies you have believed and frees you from them. This will be a milestone on your journey, a reference point to remember, as we do about the day we responded to the gospel for the first time.

To prepare for such a milestone conversation requires some practical emotional and spiritual preparation. Understand that this conversation may open the door into memories and emotions you have been avoiding for some time.  Consequently, I suggest the following plan:

Prepare

Prepare your support person(s). Decide with whom you will discuss this conversation. There are two reasons to decide now. First, in your prayerful conversation you may open some old wounds, removing the poison to begin healing. Know in advance who you will contact to get the listening ear you will need.  Even if the conversation is completely freeing and joyful, there is something about declaring it to another that will establish the milestone more firmly.

Prepare your spirit. This will involve preparing a safe place where you can be without interruption or observation. Then it is important to thank God for his grace and the freedom you experience in the gospel. Of course, if you have never responded to the gospel (the good news that Jesus is God and that he died in your place to make relationship with God possible) then now is the perfect time to do so.  Thank him that he loves you and submit to his desire to be in relationship with you forever.

Knowing that his grace covers all our sins: past, present, and future, take a few minutes to agree with him about any recent sins, and enjoy his forgiveness and direction.

Prepare your mind. This conversation with Jesus, like any other, will be a prayer. What may be different is the addition of your efforts to picture the conversation, as it would happen in physical proximity.  Our imaginations are wonderful and sometimes dangerous. Blame it on the world, the flesh, or the devil, our imaginations have served our distraction from God more often than our devotion to him. Take a minute to ask the Holy Spirit to guard and guide your imagination as you seek his insight and healing.

Write the story. As a part of preparing your mind to deal with the lies you have believed I will ask you to write down what you remember.  Take a particular event, one that your mind has gone to naturally for some time, and remember the words, actions, and your impressions about the event. It won’t be factually accurate, and that really does not matter much.  Even if there were video of the event to counter your impressions you would still have the feelings and ideas you have been carrying with you. Write the sequence of events, the words, expressions, and the feelings you and others seem to have experienced.

Now take a moment to respond to what you have written.  Does the behavior you remember seems reasonable? It will be important to forgive the people involved, but for now just answer this one question.  If you were to witness an exchange like the one you just wrote about how would you respond today? What would you say or do about what you had witnessed? Please write down your answer.

Because the person who said and did the things you wrote about was important, older, and likely responsible for your care, they had a profound impact on you.  Even though the words and behavior you wrote about are unreasonable, you were young and impressionable and they did leave an mark. They told you lies, even if they believed the lies at the time, they were lies. It is time to take those lies captive.

Remember that taking a thought captive (2 Cor 10:5) is not done by your power or authority. You challenge the thought, stop it in its tracks and hand it off to Jesus. He has the authority and he is the Truth. These thoughts have been the script that has been played out many times over resulting in self-defeating behavior and disappointing relationships. Invite Jesus into the script, submit it to him, and let him rewrite the story.

Now that you have prepared, begin your prayer by asking Jesus to go with you into the memory you wrote about.  Imagine everything else is the same, but he is standing behind you, so close you can feel him breathing. If you lean back you can feel him there, you can feel his strength and support. As you replay the scripted conversation of your memory, pause and ask Jesus what he has to say about it.  What is the Truth? Hearing this truth from him, how would you respond differently to the person in your memory? Take time to listen, to see if Jesus would give further comfort or direction. Thank him that he cares about removing these lies from your present, and preparing you for a better future.   Ask him to bring this conversation to mind when habitual thoughts return.

Now, take the time to write a record of this new conversation.  A truthful conversation you have exchanged for the lies. This is one you can talk about with to your trusted friend or counselor. It is milestone on the path to maturity, and on this walk you are being transformed as Jesus renews your mind and heals your heart.