I Beg Your Pardon
Earlier we were discussing kindness, tenderheartedness and forgiveness. I need to grow in all of these, but the keystone is forgiveness. I need it. Yes, I know that Jesus forgave my debt once and for all, and I regularly recite to him both my failures and my better intentions. I am confident of his forgiveness because his view of justice is based on his deeds rather than mine. Getting what I deserve, in my eyes or yours, would be based on my deeds. God meets out justice based on his view of me through the filter of his deeds. His justice is mercy.
Without grace there is no relationship with God. It occurs to me that without grace there is no chance of healthy relationship with you either. So I will need your forgiveness and you may even need mine.
You may be distracted by now, wondering about the particulars of my need for absolution. There is no new crisis of conviction here; I am referencing the ongoing struggle to grow into someone with a slight resemblance of Jesus. Suffice it to say that I am selfish and prone to idolatry. Since this is neither the confessional nor the checkout line we will not list my iniquities. I only brought it up to acknowledge that we need one another’s forgiveness. I won’t keep my sin a secret because I believe the proverb that says, “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” (Pr 28:13) If I come up with any new sins that are particularly titillating I will turn this into a tabloid blog (a blogloid?) Until then I will keep confessing directly to those I sin against.
When I sin against you I need forgiveness. I need it as much when I am so self-righteous as to believe that I do not. You may be right when you choose to keep your distance until such time as I am safe to be near. You may choose to forgive me in advance of my insight and conviction. It may free you from the hurts I inflicted. While I remain unaware or unmoved your imprisonment by those hurts will not punish me, nor will your release save me from consequences.
When I acknowledge and confess my sin you may choose to reconcile with me, but you are not required. Forgiveness is a pardon that accepts God’s grace as the standard of justice. Yet words and deeds still have consequences. The level of trust inspired by my repentance will determine the wisdom of reconciliation. You may choose. You must be confident that I have confessed and renounced the sin. But, if I live in a state of perpetual confession without growth or change please don’t trust me or risk relationship.
Under ordinary circumstances, when the offences are minor and the frequency high, we live in a continual give and take of grace. We practice being slow to anger, we offer patience, and we speak truth in love. At times I get worked up about a hurt toward me; as often I get indignant about a hurt toward one I love. Sometimes I get self-righteous about someone’s sin, though it hurts the sinner most, and is not directed at me or mine. When I would withhold both relationship and forgiveness I hear, …”You wicked servant”… “I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had on you?” (Mt 18:32-33)
The ungrateful servant received old school justice. I want to give the merciful justice I have received. We have received his pardon; and I beg yours.