Car Sick
I told him to watch the white line.
I tried reasoning with him but he was six years my senior and not required to listen. He was also a terrible host. He had invited me to spend the weekend and promptly came down with scarlet fever. He was supposed to be my cool older brother who had his own place and could drive and everything. Instead I was stuck taking care of him in his tiny room while he spent all night talking in his sleep, and taking regular breaks for projectile vomiting. He was hallucinating about riding in a car somewhere. He kept talking about the curves in the road and then he chum again. About 3AM I gave up and told him to watch the white line. He cursed me the next day because he watched that white line the rest of the night; but he stopped talking and puking, and he let me sleep.
Motion sickness is caused by the inner ears reaction to unanticipated change in trajectory. Carsickness is ameliorated by two strategies. First, if you are driving you chose the course and direction. Second, if you watch the white line the inner ear can anticipate most changes. No surprises equals no motion sickness.
Think of stress as the motion sickness of the soul. Unanticipated changes result in stress. Anticipated changes that do not go completely as planned also cause stress. Here are two strategies that may eliminate stress. First, when you are driving you will not be stressed; so gain control of all variables. A side note here, you may experience some stress due to the pressure of taking on responsibility for controlling all variables. Second, watch the road ahead to anticipate and prepare for all contingencies. You did all that and you are still stressed? All right, lets try another approach.
Stress happens. It is unavoidable. Ben Franklin said, “‘In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Add stress to that list. There are many factors to stress, but the most destructive, in my view, is that we see it as abnormal. Stress is an adverse reaction to change. To any change, not just to the negative ones. There is a checklist based on insurance norms that has been around for many years. The Holmes Rahe stress test can be found many places online. Take it and you will see that there are points gained for both positive and negative changes. You get almost as many points for getting married as you do for going to jail [insert your own punch line here]. A higher number of points indicate a higher probability of illness or injury due to stress.
Our behavior demonstrates a paradigm that mental, emotional, or physical fatigue is a sign of weakness. In fact, fatigue is not a Red Bull or [insert your drug of choice here] deficiency. It is a body, mind, and soul reaction to the changes of a demanding life.
In truth we can become more stress resilient, but we are never stress immune. Jesus went further than Ben Franklin when he said, “In this world you will have trouble”. The turbulence of this world is unavoidable. The context is fuller, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jn 16:33. Some want to take this to mean that if you have a right relationship with God you will never be stress or grow weary in well doing. Really? Want to take that up with the one who sweat drops of blood?
I believe that ‘Take heart’ hear means be encouraged and focus. As we approach life’s turbulence we can pray. Pray to remember the reason that makes the task worthwhile. Pray to remember that the power to accomplish it well comes from God. Pray to gain perspective that when you are at your best you will do what needs to be done in the power of the Holy Spirit and leave the results to God.
We can plan. Watch the white line anticipate and adapt to changes. Anticipate what you can, predict and prepare for a reasonable set of positive and negative outcomes. Some play “worst case scenario” to deal with stress. They are not being pessimistic, they are just reasoning that if they know how they would handle catastrophe they can improvise on anything less.
We can be proactive. Take your turn in the drivers seat. When you are taking responsibility for the choices you make then you experience less stress. Being a victim or a passenger is much more stressful. Our bodies do not stock pile sleep or nutrition. These must be taken in a timely manner or the self-righting system will result in an illness that requires us to take them in a more inconvenient means. However, with proactive fitness and nutrition we can become more resilient to physical stress. With the perspective that comes with prayer and planning we can become more resilient to emotional and spiritual stress.
We can be accountable, ok if you like the P thing, we can partner. Asking someone to support, coach, and monitor your pace and progress (too many Ps) will help us avoid loosing energy, joy, and perspective. This is particularly important when things are going well.
Because we wrongly suppose that stress is the results of merely unwanted outcomes we are particularly vulnerable in victory. In truth the victory depletes us as much as the loss so we are often blind-sided by a stress reaction.
I will not judge Elijah for his fear of Jezebel and subsequent flight. While the sources of his stress were extraordinary the pattern is familiar. He fought and defeated the 450 prophets of Baal, he prayed for and received the first rain in three years, and he ran faster than a chariot a really long way; all in the power of the Holy Spirit. I don’t blame him for being spent. He was vulnerable following all these victories. He was vulnerable to fatigue, hubris, and fear just as we are.
I heard a Vietnam war veteran speak last Sunday using Elijah’s reaction as an analogy for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. While the passage does speak to recovery from trauma the restorative pattern holds for all stress reactions. God gave Elijah time to reflect, partners bringing nutrition and encouraging rest, gentle confrontation to restore perspective, and dramatic a demonstration of power and love to restore direction.
It’s a bumpy ride but Jesus is no co-pilot. The God of the universe is nobody’s assistant. He is power, and guidance, and protection. So pray and prepare and buckle up.