But On the Other Hand..


It could have been worse.

Today I decided to spend the lunch hour running an errand.  It was a two person job and I knew it, but like most of my worst decisions this one started with me saying, “oh what the heck” and diving in.  I set up a block and tackle to pull a piece of farm equipment into the truck.  The block and tackle was intended to replace the needed second person.   However, when the line snapped and smacked me in the head I had a few minutes to study astronomy in the middle of the day.  My first though after impact was concern for my sight as the pain was global and I had to look in a mirror to be certain that the eye was not involved.  There is a cut and welt across the cheek which turns right at the bridge of the nose and continues up the forehead. I think I yelled something along the lines of “I wish that hadn’t happened”, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.  Almost immediately upon confirming that my eye was ok I was full of gratitude, and the feeling continued as I cleaned the wounds and checked for signs of concussion.

I feel lucky.  Now I know that the luckiest guy is the one who did not get a whip across the face, but I still feel lucky.  Erving Goffman called it reframing in his book <em>Frame Analysis</em>.   It can be a learned tendency, a practiced skill, or an act of the will in the face of contrary emotion.  This afternoon the reaction was based on relief that the pain and other consequences (including the embarrassing evidence of bad decision making) were temporary. 

Reframing thought on a subject will eventually change the feelings that follow.  This shapes the general view of reality and our expectation and interpretation of it.  I wrote about this in my dissertation and expressed it as a formula to assert the belief that ones perspective, even world view, can be shaped through choosing to reframe ones thoughts.  The result will be a more congruent alignment of thoughts and feelings and a healthier, more adaptive life.  Paul said in Romans 12:2a; “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”.  Of course the reframing thing only works reliably when the thoughts we choose to invest our belief in are true.  This is another good reason to seek and submit to truth, even when it hurts.  I have met many people who work full time fighting to maintain their singular view of reality against overwhelming contrary evidence.  People think of psychosis as an escape from reality but for most it is a frightening experience in an alternative reality that must be defended against a constant line of people trying to talk you out of it.  Being crazy is a lot of work and requires a good deal of integrity; but it brings no peace if the reality is based on anything but truth.

Having said this I feel compelled to point out an exception to the rule; that one can invest in a temporary view of an uncomfortable reality as a coping device.  We do this when we are stuck in a situation where we must wait for an unknown period for a plane or an appointment and choose to make it a game.  The earliest I remember coping in this way was the premier TV network showing of Hitchcock’s <em>The Birds</em>.  I got to stay home alone as my parents went to play bridge with the neighbors.  I was master of the house; popcorn & soda and the TV to myself.  But, about half way through the movie people started getting attacked by birds coming down the chimney and I got a little nervous.  I thought about looking out the window to see if my parents were on their way but there was a strong possibility that there were crows pressed up against it.  The music was building and I knew they were about to strike…and then it hit me.   I decided to root for the birds. From that point on it was a pretty funny movie. 

Ok big surprise, I was a twisted kid before I became a twisted adult.  Proactive and truth based reframing is still a great alternative to living reactively.  And when I see birds gather on a Jungle Gym I still root for them a little bit.

Daniel Conner